September 28, 2009
but sometimes i feel like i want to marry you.
5:42 AM
shhh. let's keep this as private as we can, shall we? it's 5.04am and i can't fucking sleep. makes me wonder about fairness. everytime i hear a plea for equal rights or equal treatment i scorn in disgust. pure, unadulterated and earnest disgust. hormonally, there is just no basis for argument. women and men operate differently. fact. men think. women feel. women feel that there is no need to think logically to reach the right outcome. men think there is no need to feel a certain emotion if it's not going to help to reach the right outcome. this very simple yet underestimated difference between men and women is the source of every gramme of discontent between a hetero-couple.
relationships tire me out. i know
exactly what i'm in for before i get into one, yet several months in i ask myself why it is i don't learn. perhaps i'm just not cut out for this. perhaps i'm just unable to accept that a man and a woman have unequal rights to claim what rules they would like set for themselves. he can try using logic, but she uses volume and tears. i think what it comes down to is a man deciding, when he's past his glory-building years, to stop being selfish and to pinch his nose and gulp down his medicine. and then learn that there is no way he is ever going to win at anything anymore and therefore willingly yield to a fate of wordless surrender. that's when it'll start working and if he ever feels the need to stand up for himself and defend his case, he wouldn't even remember how to.
5:03 AM
September 27, 2009
my goodness, it's literally been ages. i was suddenly overcome by a surge of nostalgia and decided that it was immoral to allow this blog to putrefy after everything it has seen me through. sort of like the obligation to push an old, decrepit wife's wheelchair upon entering a hospital. this however is no hospital; it's possibly the rest of my life, for the foreseeable future at least. it is with a profound jealousy that i read through old posts, thinking that a younger me had the audacity to exercise the unfair advantage of youth against me, the now me, and freely express thoughts and interests and ideas and opinions and it didn't just end with that! humorous anecdotes and journal entries on everyday occurences as if anyone cared what his wednesday had been like. i am jealous of his frivolity and his arrogant muses, and i'm jealous of his inexperience. i would like to take to writing again, just to teach him what exactly is worth writing about. yes that'll let him know.
yet that inexperience!
11:48 PM
