November 08, 2002
you might not have realised it, but this is actually an official Al-Qaeda network website. we have been striving to keep a low profile, but lately we've been thinking, 'ah, what the hell.'
going over our disesteemed acts that we have been doing over the last few years, it is assuring that we is having killed quite a lot of people. and we've fucked bush in the ass pretty badly as well, pardon my english. many have asked why we do this, and at times, we ourselves don't know. but everytime we see bush run around in his panties screaming like a lady the world's end or saddam hussein bring home the good whore-ladies for us, we see the answer. and for this we have him to thank.
i feel inclined to bring this up. the bali blasts were not planned. yes, it was a slip up. my silly brother ahmed... you see, it his not his fault. he is a bit slow, shall we say. he was always hearing things wrong, and doing the wrong thing. the other night, the 2 of us and brother ali were playing cards. you may not have heard of this game, it is called 'i bomb'. and so the game was going very smoothly, until ali piss me off. he piss me off real bad. i want to kick his face, but i cannot. we is all brothers. so i tell ahmed, in the game, i want to make ali lose. so i tell ahmed 'we bomb ali!' but the stupid fool is hearing me wrongly and the next thing we know, is
this. it is really unfortunate. and my brother would like to say sorry to all the people.
my boss Os would like to extend a warm welcome to those interested in joining his network. it is not very bad in fact, i think. you get to beat the people you don't like. i remember one time, the guy at the mosque. he kick my shoes away after i take them off. for no reason. and the shoe goes into the drain. i is very pissed. i want to kick his face. but i cannot. so i pick up the shoe and curse him under my breath. then one day, i is see him taking a piss behind the bushes. and i take my rifle and shoot him silly. it is so funny, all of a sudden he is no longer pissing. and then as if to seek revenge, i is taking off his shoe, and throwing it away with all my strength. and he is pleading for mercy, but i say no. then i kick him and after that he is dead. see my friends, you should consider this job. it is a very good one. there will be a summer camp next week, and registration fee is $25++. you will have to buy your own rifle, that is for $400. but if you want to negotiate things, i can get it for you for free. that is, for the ladies only. it will be a joyful and enriching experience for you. call us at 1800-KAH-BOOM. or email us (yes, we is very internet-savvy these days. our boss says times are changing.) at turnip_angel69@hotmail.com. we wish you all the best in all your future endeavours.
to round things up today, i must say that all in all, things are smooth and we look forward to a whole new year of mindless bomb-blasting and exploring other ways of using terror as a weapon. and all this just for you, baby. :p
11:05 AM
